Bat Attack! Reprise

Since my wife likes to use the first person plural in place of the third person singular, I would like to expound in first person singular how I exhibited some total "MAN" last night.

After putting on my work pants and sleeveless shirt, I performed perhaps the second manliest task involving a toilet that a true man can attempt. I installed a toilet! I dropped that bad boy down on a brand new wax ring and reconnected the water. Before I could test it out with the most manliest of tasks, I went downstairs to put the tools in the basement.

At the foot of the stairs I caught a black blur out of the corner of my left eye which I dismissed as a hallucination from the increased testosterone levels in my blood. However, when I came up out of the basement and saw the intruder flying around in my living room there was no dismissing the situation. BAT ATTACK!!!!

I calmly put down my PBR and called to the wife upstairs that we have a bat in the house and she locked the dogs in the bedroom. My bulldog is rabid enough already. I reached for my shotgun and then reconsidered. A broom would suffice. It was me against the bat.

I'm an animal lover, but I couldn't let Edward Cullen reach the second floor where my beautiful baby was sleeping. I also had to resign myself to possibly shattering a lamp or knocking over the TV because this blood sucker must die!

Edward flew at my head a few times, but I'd only had one PBR and was still nimble as a cat. I missed on my first two swings, the count was 0-2. Unfortunately for Edward, he left his 0-2 pitch hanging in my wheel house (high and outside) and I nailed him. He slid under my speaker and tried to hide. Here is where we can now switch to the nosotros form, Ashley grabbed a blanket and we pulled Edward out from under the speaker with the broom and smothered him. After that it was just a matter of getting the blanket outside and Edward fluttered a bit on the ground and then flew off to find Bella or a crowd of shirtless 16 year old boys.

I basked in my manliness. I had just performed two of the most intensely masculine duties a husband can do. The only things more impressive is if I had rebuilt an engine and then defended my home from a horde of Russians or a crystal-meth tweaker.

Creatures of the night, think twice before you invade my house after I'm high off of successful plumbing.

Bat Attack!

We were feeling pretty great after installing our toilet tonight, until we came downstairs to find a massive bat swooping around our house as if he owned the joint. My bloodthirsty husband sprang into action to protect our family and home and nearly destroyed the creature with a combination of a broom and blanket. I sat on the steps and mostly laughed my ass off. Why didn't I think to grab the video camera so all six of our followers could enjoy the chaos? Just take my word for it, it was a good time.

We have no clue how it came in. The electricians were here all day (more on that in another post) and had the basement door open most of the time. Maybe he was hanging out down there and just waiting to come up at night and suck our blood? Creepy.

Tiling project is finally complete!

Well the last post was very rosy and full of confidence. We spent another long and discouraging weekend working on the tile... things went a bit downhill after the first weekend and initial installation. I say initial installation because as we started to prep the tile for grout, we realized

that some of the tiles were popping up. No big deal, we went out to get some tile adhesive, pried those suckers up and lathered them with adhesive before placing them right

back where they belonged. The problem was, as we started checking, more and more tiles were popping up. And before we knew it we had ripped up at least 1/3 of the floor. And so the second installation began.

So most of the weekend felt like three steps forward and two steps back. Finally on Monday we were ready to grout. Grouting was surprisingly simple. I stayed away because we mixed it with a chemical component that the tile guy recommended for extra strong grout. So grouting was a super simple part of the project for me. The big guy did a great job and we decided to be extra cautious and let it sit again for 24 hours before sealing it last night.

And finally, finally the toilet went back in tonight. No more trips downstairs in the middle of the night. That is a BIG big deal for someone like me with a 6 month pregnant bladder.

Next up is to finish our custom vanity. We started sealing it with polyurethane this weekend while we were waiting for the grout to dry. I guess that is the royal "we" because again, I stayed away to protect BB2 from the fumes.

Plumbers crack! (almost)

I'm thinking about paint colors and shopping for a new shower curtain... I've looked at my usual go to home decorating websites and am not having much luck, if anyone has seen good options let me know!

Hammam

Saturday.

Our first major home improvement job needed to be our upstairs bathroom. The original floor was blue shag carpet which we immediately ripped out before we moved in. That left us with just the plywood sub-floor, again not a real kid friendly surface.

The first step was to remove the toilet and rip out the vanity. Brother  came over and helped with both. Taking out the toilet was simple, just empty the bowl and tank and then take off the two bolts connecting it to the floor. After setting aside the toilet, we destroyed the vanity.

Next up was to remove all staples, nails, or carpet fragments from the sub-floor. Before you lay down your mortar and backer board the surface must be as smooth and flat as possible. Then we mixed up a layer of modified thin-set mortar and cut out our pieces of backer board. AB decided against the traditional backer board and instead bought this stuff called Ditra. It's a German product which she learned about through her work and it claims to be a superior surface (watch the video here). 

We then spread the thin-set down and laid the Ditra down on top. The first piece was easy and went down with no problems; however, I got cocky and started working faster. AB got home from the tile store and noticed a few lumps of mortar under the Ditra, but no problem, we peeled it up and smoothed out the mortar. Then it was time to relax and let the mortar dry and enjoy some cold beers.

Sunday.

Today was the hard part. We were ready to lay the tile. Brother came over again to help babysit and supervise my tile cutting and we were off to the races.

First thing was to rent the tile saw from Home Depot. I had never used a wet saw before, but it was pretty intuitive. Just measure and cut, making sure you keep your fingers out of the way.

AB put a string down the length of the floor to serve as the guide for properly aligning the tile. We couldn't just start against one wall because the room is not square and we would surely have ended up on the other side totally crooked. AB then started tiling around the toilet first. After some inspirational words and some coaching on spacial perception she did a really fine job. Me and bro did cutting, wife made sure they all fit properly.

Everything was going smoothly, but we were getting tired and it was getting late. Also the mortar was starting to dry out. We pushed through and finished up around 11 pm. The final product looks great. Our first mistake however was to not put down a threshold first and then tile up against it. Now we just have tile up to the door and we can't figure out how to attach a threshold without damaging the tile. Our second mistake was to not mix up some fresh mortar. The wee hours affected our judgement and now a few of the tiles toward the door are loose. Nothing a little adhesive won't fix.  Overall the job was a huge success. Thanks to Brother for helping with Babygirl and advising on geometry.

Next up: Grouting, threshold, and baseboards!